Hello Million Friends,
As you can see from my last post Lauritzen Gardens Art Exhibit I’ve been buzzzzzzzzi preparing and then hanging my first solo show. So I guess you could call me a PEMPAA, Post-Emerging Menopausal Pre-Ancient Artist. YEAH! I did it, and oh what a time we had. I should’ve videotaped the event.
In The Beginning
So I emailed my husband to notify him I would need his help. If I don’t email him, it’s considered a “drive-by” request, and that’s a no no in the IT world. However, I’m not in the IT world but I’ll play along and smile all the way. He’s more than happy to help. I’ve trained him well. 
He’s a good guy and when I die, there will be more hot apple pies at our front door than you can imagine, if you catch my drift. He’ll have plenty of sniffling females to comfort him, so I’m making a list and checking it twice to be sure he gets a nice one.
A Day Dream
As I’m writing this, a daydream occurred to me so I may as well share. A reality show about a widower smitten by grief whose mission is to select his new bride, I mean nurse. There won’t be any “making out”, hotpool, or mud wrestling scenes and CPR will be mandatory.
When the cat fights start, women will be slinging girdles across the room, hiding wigs, walkers, wheel chairs and bunion pads. Accusations will fly, “You wear grandma pants”, “No I don’t!”, “When you shop for a bra, is it a 42C or a 42Long?”
They’ll know who he likes because she’ll be the one he drives to the store. Selecting a comfortable recliner for him will be one test. But the coup de gras will be a cook off. It will take him a long time to heal from me, because I’m so perfect.
Back to reality. 
So, we crammed 41 pieces of art into our 4-door Honda Accord and headed east. My friend Rosemary was waiting for us, she helped as well. Here we come!!
Gone Fishing
After our arrival, we carried in my art and the woman that accepted me for the show was excited with the work I brought, and very helpful as she handed us a box of fishing wire, scissors, some very large hangers, and a couple ladders. Then she said Good Luck!!
Pardon me if this is an ignorant question, who in the heck hangs their fine art with fishing wire? A fisherman? No, but I did, and me no fisherwoman.
I did it because it was a requirement of the establishment. And I’m completely sympathetic to their cause. After all I wouldn’t want holes in the walls of my gallery every time an artist blows through for a show. All I’m saying is that it’s difficult when you’re not used to doing it.
Let’s Hang Some Art
Rosemary and I were on the same page as to how we were going to experiment and then proceed. I didn’t even need to finish my sentences with Rose, but Bill, my husband, had a different idea of how we could go about it. What else is new? Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and so it goes.
The big hooks were to hang on a rail at the top of the wall. Then we looped the wire around the wire on the back of the painting and hoisted it up to where we thought was about eye level. Tied at least three very tight knots and centered the paintings best we could.
It wasn’t the most ideal way to hang a painting because what happens is there’s no way to hang the paintings without having them pitch forward a bit – because they’re hanging so far from the hook at the top.
I did want the paintings to be hung in a certain order but when I realized they would all be pitching forward, it kind’ve burst my bubble. But we hung as best we could.
We called the manager out of her office and asked if this is right and she said yes, “Oh yes, you’re doing it the right way, we’re used to seeing them pitch forward.”
It took us six hours the first day and then Rose and I went back the next day to hang a few more. I even fixed a painting that needed a little touch of purple in the corner. In my prayers that night I said, “Dear God, please don’t let any of their visitors brush up against that wet painting.” 
That first day, we didn’t tie one of the fishing wires tight enough and a painting fell, broke the frame, expensive lesson learned.
Field Bouncer
Last week I received an email from a gallery in London that spotted my Llama painting Field Bouncer at the website of SAATCHI Gallery asking me to participate in their Easter show.
Considering my options, it was cost prohibitive. I approached a gallery in Hamburg and they said my work would be appropriate for their gallery. Also, they required a $700.00 a month fee to be in the gallery. This isn’t a new concept so why am I surprised? Probably because I’m a PEMPAA.
The suffering, starving, proving your worth, cutting off your ear, or being sent to an asylum by your loving relatives are over. Just don’t forget the fishing wire!!
Photo Credit: qmnonic
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hilarious!!! Your description of your IT hubby was pretty darn close to an exact description of mine. How do so many artists end up with digit-head husbands. (Driveby request…heh, heh.) Good luck with your show. I imagine it will be wonderful and lots of fun. The hardest part is over.
Hi Peggi, thanks for your observation! Yes, “drive by request” to which I respond “the last time I checked I was your wife, not an employee Mr IT” And I tease him and tell him “you know things” and you don’t tell me. As in “IT” things that would make life easier for me but he doesn’t have time. A wall separates our home offices, but I still email him, or he’ll forget. All I can say is thank God for digit heads! And yes, the worst part is over, whoosh! Two weeks later and I’m still recovering. I’m challenged with the digital file organization. Especially the jpgs. Everytime I turn around I’m having to resize something, who has time to keep all that in order, I’m supposed to be painting.
I think CRONE is easier to say, and I love the word. Some don’t. It rhymes well, for one thing, with phone, drone, moan.
I wouldn’t worry about your husband. He should be checking HIS list.
Six hours? WOW! You must have felt more like the fish than the fisherman as the paintings were pitching forward, causing a kind of floating sensation, I imagine. Hopefully none of your art patrons suffer from motion sickness.
A touch-up during hanging . . . good on you! Few would have the guts to pull off that kind of operation. What if the bit of purple calls for some refining with a few other colors? Did you have those hidden in your trench coat as well?
Did god answer your prayers? Without the one ear, could you even hear if she did?
Wonderful blog here. Years ago I did pottery for a living and used to do craft fairs.. oof is pottery heavy and a LOT of work. I dreaded setting up shows and then so often on top of it all you had to dress up. I then went on to just doing painting and sculpting. I joined art organizations and began helping to set up different exhibits. Ahh me I remember laughter till I could not breathe, trying to measure to place artwork on the walls. Not being a numbers person made it difficult at best. Reading your blog here brought all of this back up in my mind.. and heart.
Good luck with your art and may the light shine on its spirit.
~Kathy